It wasn't me.
— Shaggy
Before the mainstream media picks this up, I would just like to come out and say that I had nothing to do with this article. The important thing is that we do not allow the lies that are promulgated by our enemies to distract us from the real problems that face the noble city of San Francisco, viz., paving the roads (assholes), taking back the 'loin, and privatizing MUNI.
This campaign has faced numerous hurdles in the past, from our candidate moving 3,000 miles away, to him being accused of using performing-enhancing substances.
We have weathered each so-called scandal with poise and determination; this non-issue will prove to be just that, despite the best efforts of those who would oppose our revolution.
