The Artiste Formerly Known As G-Unit

On Tuesday, I got an email at work saying that the multimedia department was looking for an Asian male to play a role in a new Kaiser commercial. Now, before you all get excited, these aren't the Thrive commercials that you all love and enjoy. These were going to be regional commercials to pump up a new hospital we're opening soon.

The call sheet described the commercial as the following:
The commercials reflect the ethnic diversity of the area and feature a scene with an upscale Asian American husband and wife (or boyfriend/girlfriend), low 30's to low 40's, who are shopping at a farmer's market. They are environmentally conscious, smart, fit, energetic, conversational, and enthusiastic.

Apparently, the producers found some strong candidates for the female role, but were lacking actors for the male role. After the runaway success and acclaim from Ocean Beach, I decided to throw my hat in the ring and audition. I called the producers up and they immediately asked for my age. I told them 25 and they were like, well, the actress we have for the girlfriend/wife role looks young, so that may actually work out.

I got the script, and here were the lines:

Girlfriend/Wife: A farmer's market at the medical center? Now that's exciting.
Boyfriend/Husband: Yeah, I can pick up my allergy medicine AND some fresh strawberries!

Riveting dialogue, don't you think? I had visions of my head of saying the lines perfectly during take one and being able to riff during the last few takes. Some alternative lines:
"Sweet! I can pick up my drugs AND food at once. Less gas. Value add!"
"You must be one pathetic lady if you think that's exciting. How did we meet again?"
"Is someone talking? What's that noise I hear?"

I practiced a few times over at 1524sf, then with my co-workers. I was ready to rock this audition, Johnny Drama-style.



The Audition

After chatting it up with one of my competitors in the Green Room, I was called in to the room. The producer and director miked me up and then informed me that I had to pretend that my wife/girlfriend was beside me as the casting producer read the lines in front of me. It was a bit awkward to react to your left when someone was talking in front of me, but I thought, well, it IS called acting, so I played cool and nodded. They then asked if I needed a minute to get into character. I tried to act like the cool actor, so I just did a simple breathing exercise, made a few arm motions, and then said I was ready.

I did my first take. It was okay, although I almost messed up the end of my line. The casting producer told me to say the line directly to the camera. I went ahead for take 2. Then takes 3 and 4.

The director entered the room. She came in to act as a stand-in where the wife/girlfriend was supposed to be and said it might be easier to act that way. She also handed me a new line to read. I read the script and joked about how cheesy it was.

New line:
Boyfriend/Husband: I hope they prescribe fresh strawberries!

Being a true professional, I decide to go for it, despite my obvious script concerns. For take one, I delivered the line with my normal sarcasm and rolled eyes. The director asked me to be more energetic and look directly to the camera as I spoke for take 2. I had a memory of Mr. Roper from Three's Company in my head, so for take two, I delivered the line, sitcom-style by looking at the camera, saying the line, and then smiling. They asked for a little less energy and I did a few more takes. They thanked me and I went back to work.

Afterthought:

Basically, I think I tanked the audition. It happens, but I regret not really thinking out my character and asking questions. I mean, I should've gotten some background information on my wife/gf. Was she a doctor? Is she into agriculture? How long have we been together? What is my exact profession? Am I happy? What time of day was it? Am I a Beatles or Elvis guy? What was my favorite movie? Is there a picture of the girlfriend/wife?

Had I thought these things out, I would've connected more with the character and pulled off a more realistic performance. Instead, my portrayal of "Boyfriend/Husband" was a little more reserved and less lively as I had hoped.

Well, that's acting for you. I still haven't been officially rejected, but I'm not necessarily holding out hope. Oh well. I still have NG Film Productions.