Contradiction, Not Eternity

Last night at Yancy's, G-Unit once again showed us that his infamous nickname (i.e., "pimp ng") is most certainly well deserved. The three of us had arrived at Yancy's in the pursuit of happiness (and by that, I mean, some random girl who hit on me at a Starbucks), and after making the customary rounds to "scope the scene," we had found a table in the center of all the action. Though the original raison d'être of our trip was for me, it was G-Unit on whom Fortune smiled that night.

A waitress came up to our table to take our drink orders, and stopped next to G-Unit, pulling up close to him (much as another woman had just weeks before), and seductively making eye contact. The power of her gaze still gives me shivers when I think about it. After holding the eye contact a minute too long, the following conversation transpired:

Waitress: Excuse me, but, I have to ask. What cologne are you wearing?
G-Unit: Um, it's Eternity by Calvin Klein.
Waitress: I thought so. That's the cologne my ex used to wear.
G-Unit: Oh yeah? Do I know you from somewhere? Come here often? How you doing? Let me turn my spidey senses on... down there.
Rohit: G-Unit! Give her your business card!
Waitress: (blushing) Let me get those drinks for you guys...

As can be assumed, as soon as the waitress was out of sight, Phil began sniffing G-Unit, trying to figure out if he smelled that strongly of cologne. His conclusion: G-Unit didn't smell like anything! After some more investigation by Eva, we concluded that the waitress had just been using a pick-up line. The best part, however, came when G-Unit remembered that the cologne he was wearing that night was Contradiction, not Eternity. As it turned out, it couldn't have mattered in the least. Add another woman to G-Unit's already sizable bullpen. Contradiction, 1; Eternity, 0.