4 Reasons to Vote for Me

Today is election day. It's quite possibly the biggest election in the history of San Francisco, I wanted to remind you of some reasons why I, Garett Ng, am a better mayoral candidate than my political rival, Mr. Newsom.

1. I respect family values. As Mayor, I promise to lead as the good Book dictates. In other words, I will not covet your wife as let's just say some people have.

2. I will fix the roads. San Francisco has too many potholes on the road. During this campaign, I self-initiated a study that linked the abundance of potholes throughout SF to the increased rise in depression, anxiety, and loneliness. There is only one way to tackle this problem and it is to pave these roads.

3. Like all of you, I don't have private transportation means and butlers to drive me around to my blue-collared job. I'm like you guys. I take the MUNI and embrace the notion of public transportations. However, there is something flawed in the current infrastructure. As Mayor, I will facilitate the privatization of MUNI. It will help in the long run to bring to you all a better and safer transportation option.

4. Finally, as mayor, we're going to take back the streets and take back the seats. As you may be aware, I was a target of hooligans when my car was vandalized this past summer. This is a reflection of the crime rampant on our streets, especially in the Sunset District. The line must be drawn here! It is time for all of us to rise up and take back the seats ourselves because this current administration will not do the job.

So there you have it. Four excellent reasons why you should vote for me. When you go to the polls today, be sure to vote for me.

Thank you and God Bless America and San Francisco!

- Garett