Eight Months Later

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Better. Stronger. Faster.

To my fellow friends, family, and supporters:

Thank you so much for all your support, emotionally and financially, over the past few months. As you can imagine, it's been quite a roller coaster ride as we tried to take on Goliath, otherwise known as Mr. Newsom. Unfortunately, our efforts fell short. Despite the fact that the absentee ballots continue to be talleyed and there is a strong possibility of a comeback, it is time that we move on from this. I call upon my colleagues, Democrats, Republicans, Green, and so on, to come together and carry the message that we've been focused on these past few weeks. Let's fix the roads.

And if these roads are not paved, let me say this here and now. The battle may have been lost, but the war is ongoing. We will be back. Better. Stronger. Faster.

Thank you once again. God Bless America and God Bless San Francisco.

Yours,

Garett

4 Reasons to Vote for Me

Today is election day. It's quite possibly the biggest election in the history of San Francisco, I wanted to remind you of some reasons why I, Garett Ng, am a better mayoral candidate than my political rival, Mr. Newsom.

1. I respect family values. As Mayor, I promise to lead as the good Book dictates. In other words, I will not covet your wife as let's just say some people have.

2. I will fix the roads. San Francisco has too many potholes on the road. During this campaign, I self-initiated a study that linked the abundance of potholes throughout SF to the increased rise in depression, anxiety, and loneliness. There is only one way to tackle this problem and it is to pave these roads.

3. Like all of you, I don't have private transportation means and butlers to drive me around to my blue-collared job. I'm like you guys. I take the MUNI and embrace the notion of public transportations. However, there is something flawed in the current infrastructure. As Mayor, I will facilitate the privatization of MUNI. It will help in the long run to bring to you all a better and safer transportation option.

4. Finally, as mayor, we're going to take back the streets and take back the seats. As you may be aware, I was a target of hooligans when my car was vandalized this past summer. This is a reflection of the crime rampant on our streets, especially in the Sunset District. The line must be drawn here! It is time for all of us to rise up and take back the seats ourselves because this current administration will not do the job.

So there you have it. Four excellent reasons why you should vote for me. When you go to the polls today, be sure to vote for me.

Thank you and God Bless America and San Francisco!

- Garett

Re: Clinton's Endorsement of Mr. Newsom

I think it's another case of the liberal media making blatant biases against what is in fact reality. I've been tracking the SF Chronicle over the last few days and I've been a bit shocked that they have been assuming that there is no major and viable candidate running against Mr. Newsom. Hello? Have they been not reading this blog? I'm running. Jeez. Great job guys. Maybe you should focus your attention away from finding the Zodiac and instead, feeling the pulse of the city... just like I am. All the way from Toronto. Call it "telecommuting." People all the world do it for their jobs. I am applying that ideology towards running a political campaign. You wait and see. It is revolutionary.

Anyway, the main reason for this post and why I am breaking my silence is that I would like to address you, the people, about my thoughts on Ms. Clinton's recent endorsement on my political rival, Mr. Newsom. While I previously did not have any "beef" on Ms. Clinton, this really ticked me off. The gloves have been thrown down. It is O-VAH between me and her. On that note, I am now actively seeking an endorsement from any of her rivals including Mr. O'Reilly (I know you're not running, but doesn't that have a nice ring to it? President Bill O'Reilly), Senator McCain, Senator Obama.... heck, even Mr. Nadar. You know how to reach me. My operators are standing by for your telephone call.

Thank you all and pass this message on. Together, we can take back the 'loin.

You Messed with an O.G.

"Revenge is a dish best served cold."

That is quote from one of my favorite movies of all time, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.

I immediately thought about these words yesterday afternoon after discovering that someone had keyed my car on all four sides. The major damage was on the front hood and truck hood where the assholes keyed in two curse words.

Now, I'm usually a peaceful guy and I really don't turn to violence when I'm angry. I really don't think violence is the answer to most things. However, I am going to the other side on this issue.

My main goal in my remaining time here is to find these hooligans and bring them to justice by any means necessary. I will be the poster child to BAMN. Yes, I am talking about Street Justice. As Mayor to SF, I will launch sweeping raids to ensure that no corner is left unguarded. I will use all my resources to bring these people to justice. Besides paving the roads and my other campaign promises, I am now officially declaring that I will upgrade my "Take back the Loin" promise to "Take back the streets."

You, my hoodlums, have officially pissed me off. Prepare to meet your end. You're messing with an O.G.

The chase may look like this:




More seriously though... Who the hell keys cars these days? That's just idiotic.